What a day at the grocery store! I just got off work and was stopping to pick up a few things. Apparently so were 83 other people.... not including their children in tow.
I get to the check out line.... yes singular.... 15th in line 3 BTW.... and several unruly customers got verbal enough that the manager did a quick PA announcement:
Attention shoppers! Not 15 minutes ago there wasn't a customer in the building. I made a haste decision to let 4 employees take a cigarette break and 2 are visiting the little girl's room. Please be patient. Thank you.
Then the speaker makes a loud squeak and here he goes again....
Attention Randy, Robert, Bruce, Lenny..... Get back to your posts STAT! No ifs, ands, or cigarette butts! Attention Linda and Marcie..... Get back to your posts STAT! And please wash your hands first. That is all.
Hehehe.... I made the announcements up. Went more like this:
Attention Cashiers! Back to your posts STAT! Dave! Clean up on aisle 2.
I heard the jar of something hit the floor too! Kind of a craaacccckkkksplatttttt sound. It's true!
Anywho... I was whisked off to the 12 items or less line by the stampeding cashiers and was out the door within minutes. Life is good. Sometimes.... well not for me once I got to my car.
I pushed the shopping cart of groceries up to the rear of my car and hit the TRUNK button on my keypad. Damn thing wouldn't open and then suddenly the car... my car.... lurches! I'm like WTH? I catch sight of this big ass honkin' Ford that the paint is totally worn off of from sunscorch with a grayhaired elderly woman peering out the window at me mouthing something. I step between my and her car and look at the two shopping carts pressed up against my front fender! She pulls forward and the carts immediately release themselves from the fenders of both vehicles. I survey the area and expect paint scratched or dented fender or something. NOTHING! I am flabbergasted. I mean... my fender isn't plastic or the kind that pops in and out at will. It's metal!
I look straight at the old woman and say you really need to put the carts in the corral.... just the other side of her honkin' Ford. She looks to barely see over her steering wheel and mouths something else giving me dirty looks.
Meanwhile, 2 men in a truck right in front of her spot are watching this whole thing with a look of amusement on their faces. I just smile politely and nod.
I get back to my trunk and pop it open. As I start to remove the first bag.... the old woman pulls forward a bit to straighten her car.... she backs up and no lie.... one of the shopping carts is hugging her fender! She slams on her brakes and the Ford boat starts rocking... One of the guys in the pickup truck runs up to the car and pulls the cart off. He looks at me and is shaking his head. A big smile on his face. Some people is all he said. I nod in agreement and say.... she's a crack head no doubt!
Finally the woman backs out of the spot and I worry for life and limb as she cruises slowly past me standing there using my shopping cart as protection with one bag in each hand. I thought about writing down her license number and reporting her as a drunk driver to the police..... but I didn't have it left in me to be so mean.
After all that.... I made it home safely.
It did dawn on me though.... I could have used so many cuss words on that silly old woman..... but I'm sure she could have spit out her chew and taught me a few knew ones. So... all in all.... it's just another day in the neighborhood..... just sayin'.......
I get to the check out line.... yes singular.... 15th in line 3 BTW.... and several unruly customers got verbal enough that the manager did a quick PA announcement:
Attention shoppers! Not 15 minutes ago there wasn't a customer in the building. I made a haste decision to let 4 employees take a cigarette break and 2 are visiting the little girl's room. Please be patient. Thank you.
Then the speaker makes a loud squeak and here he goes again....
Attention Randy, Robert, Bruce, Lenny..... Get back to your posts STAT! No ifs, ands, or cigarette butts! Attention Linda and Marcie..... Get back to your posts STAT! And please wash your hands first. That is all.
Hehehe.... I made the announcements up. Went more like this:
Attention Cashiers! Back to your posts STAT! Dave! Clean up on aisle 2.
I heard the jar of something hit the floor too! Kind of a craaacccckkkksplatttttt sound. It's true!
Anywho... I was whisked off to the 12 items or less line by the stampeding cashiers and was out the door within minutes. Life is good. Sometimes.... well not for me once I got to my car.
I pushed the shopping cart of groceries up to the rear of my car and hit the TRUNK button on my keypad. Damn thing wouldn't open and then suddenly the car... my car.... lurches! I'm like WTH? I catch sight of this big ass honkin' Ford that the paint is totally worn off of from sunscorch with a grayhaired elderly woman peering out the window at me mouthing something. I step between my and her car and look at the two shopping carts pressed up against my front fender! She pulls forward and the carts immediately release themselves from the fenders of both vehicles. I survey the area and expect paint scratched or dented fender or something. NOTHING! I am flabbergasted. I mean... my fender isn't plastic or the kind that pops in and out at will. It's metal!
I look straight at the old woman and say you really need to put the carts in the corral.... just the other side of her honkin' Ford. She looks to barely see over her steering wheel and mouths something else giving me dirty looks.
Meanwhile, 2 men in a truck right in front of her spot are watching this whole thing with a look of amusement on their faces. I just smile politely and nod.
I get back to my trunk and pop it open. As I start to remove the first bag.... the old woman pulls forward a bit to straighten her car.... she backs up and no lie.... one of the shopping carts is hugging her fender! She slams on her brakes and the Ford boat starts rocking... One of the guys in the pickup truck runs up to the car and pulls the cart off. He looks at me and is shaking his head. A big smile on his face. Some people is all he said. I nod in agreement and say.... she's a crack head no doubt!
Finally the woman backs out of the spot and I worry for life and limb as she cruises slowly past me standing there using my shopping cart as protection with one bag in each hand. I thought about writing down her license number and reporting her as a drunk driver to the police..... but I didn't have it left in me to be so mean.
After all that.... I made it home safely.
It did dawn on me though.... I could have used so many cuss words on that silly old woman..... but I'm sure she could have spit out her chew and taught me a few knew ones. So... all in all.... it's just another day in the neighborhood..... just sayin'.......
