How many gnostics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1) Do it yourself.
2) Please, lightbulb jokes? That's so juvenile.
3) The lightbulb is merely a projection into our world, there is a lightbulb beyond the lightbulb and only by learning to look past this physical "lightbulb" can we even begin to achieve spiritual evolution.
4) Scholars are not sure, but graffiti on a first century Roman wall appears to allude to evidence that it took merely three Gnostics to screw in a lightbulb. However, lightbulbs had not been invented yet, so it's more reasonable to assume that this was some kind of lantern or candle, particularly because the inscriptions are in Greek and not in Hebrew. If they had been in Hebrew we might be able to determine which Gnostic leader is being referred to. The word for "lamp" in Hebrew is not close to the word for "lamp" in Greek. It is possible this reference is to Christ as "the light of the world" but whether this refers to the low Christology of Arianism or the high Christology of Bishop Ireneaus is not clear.
The furious debate over lightbulbs in the early church can be seen clearly in the following letters which were unearthed in Alexandria during a German archaeological expedition in 1824. "Why must we use their low wattage bulbs, " complained Valentinius, "when Christ Jesus has sent us these 100 watt halogen bulbs which are so energy efficient, not to mention wonderfully bright? "
Tertullian wrote a massive twelve volume series refuting the heretical "Light Bulb Revelation".
"It is not for mere humans to determine the purpose of the light bulb, nor is it permitted for women to engage in lightbulb screwing in! This false prophet has encouraged women to screw in their own lightbulbs, he has even given them STOOLS to STAND ON! I can imagine nothing more disgusting in the sight of God Almighty!"
Bishop Ireneaus concurred.
"I have seen Jews complacently trading lightbulbs with our Christian bretheren. This must cease!"
"They are a bunch of lightbulb hating bishops, " said Gnostic leader Marcus in another letter. "Their minds are not open to the Truth of gnosis. I will give them no lightbulbs and I shall not take lightbulbs from them! Nay, even if the bulbs are free and our supply has dwindled."
The Gnostics persisted for two centuries until the orthdox church sent an army to break all the Gnostic lightbulbs, at which point they were driven underground and could only pass on their ideas about lighting fixtures through code.
2) Please, lightbulb jokes? That's so juvenile.
3) The lightbulb is merely a projection into our world, there is a lightbulb beyond the lightbulb and only by learning to look past this physical "lightbulb" can we even begin to achieve spiritual evolution.
4) Scholars are not sure, but graffiti on a first century Roman wall appears to allude to evidence that it took merely three Gnostics to screw in a lightbulb. However, lightbulbs had not been invented yet, so it's more reasonable to assume that this was some kind of lantern or candle, particularly because the inscriptions are in Greek and not in Hebrew. If they had been in Hebrew we might be able to determine which Gnostic leader is being referred to. The word for "lamp" in Hebrew is not close to the word for "lamp" in Greek. It is possible this reference is to Christ as "the light of the world" but whether this refers to the low Christology of Arianism or the high Christology of Bishop Ireneaus is not clear.
The furious debate over lightbulbs in the early church can be seen clearly in the following letters which were unearthed in Alexandria during a German archaeological expedition in 1824. "Why must we use their low wattage bulbs, " complained Valentinius, "when Christ Jesus has sent us these 100 watt halogen bulbs which are so energy efficient, not to mention wonderfully bright? "
Tertullian wrote a massive twelve volume series refuting the heretical "Light Bulb Revelation".
"It is not for mere humans to determine the purpose of the light bulb, nor is it permitted for women to engage in lightbulb screwing in! This false prophet has encouraged women to screw in their own lightbulbs, he has even given them STOOLS to STAND ON! I can imagine nothing more disgusting in the sight of God Almighty!"
Bishop Ireneaus concurred.
"I have seen Jews complacently trading lightbulbs with our Christian bretheren. This must cease!"
"They are a bunch of lightbulb hating bishops, " said Gnostic leader Marcus in another letter. "Their minds are not open to the Truth of gnosis. I will give them no lightbulbs and I shall not take lightbulbs from them! Nay, even if the bulbs are free and our supply has dwindled."
The Gnostics persisted for two centuries until the orthdox church sent an army to break all the Gnostic lightbulbs, at which point they were driven underground and could only pass on their ideas about lighting fixtures through code.
