Funny Christian jokes!

[Jesusfreak]

Post your funny Christian jokes in this thread.

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.
They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said: "I built a big house for our mother."


The second said: "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."

The third said: "You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible.
Now she can't see very well.
So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible.
It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him.
Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it."

Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks.

"Milton," she said, "the house you built is so huge.
I live only in one room, but I have to clean the whole house.

"Gerald," she said, "I am too old to travel.
I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes.
And that driver is so rude! He's a pain!"
"But Donald," she said, "the little chicken you sent was delicious!"


LOL!

 

[Peter Parka]

Why didn't the Irishman want to become a Jehovahs Witness?

He said he hadn't seen the accident!

 

[jbarroqueiro]

Nice on peter...

 

[Reaver]

[FONT=Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif]Jesus walks into a motel, throws a bag of nails on the counter and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

Sorry, but it's just a joke. Plus I've heard worse on this site.
[/FONT]

 

[sundvlfn88]

Jesus is hanging on the Cross and a crowd has gathered around. Jesus says "Peter" "Peter" "Peter" and running through the crowd is Peter running to the Cross and says "Yes Jesus?" and Jesus says " I can see your house from here.
I guess I am going to take the hell express for that joke.

 

[Reaver]

as long as they're just jokes, it doesn't matter... it's personal attacks and just pure crude stuff that gets the admins worked up... i wouldn't worry too much. That being said, I gotta top you:

Hitler walks up to the pearly gates, and Peter says "what do you want?"

Hitler says, "I wish to enter heaven. I have repented for my terrible sins, and have given all the gold I have stolen from the jews back to them. the only thing I couldn't get rid of was this 6 foot, solid gold cross. I know jesus loves crosses, and I thought maybe he might want it."

Peter says "hold on" and calls jesus over, as he knows jesus has a certain love of crosses.

Jesus says, "what do you want?" Peter says, "Hitler is here and he wants in. He has repented for his terrible sins, and has given all the gold he stole from the jews back to them. the only thing he couldn't get rid of was this 6 foot, solid gold cross. He says you can have it if you want"

Jesus still doesn't know what to do, so he goes to God and says, " Dad, Hitler is here and he wants in."

God immediately says, "No way is he getting in here"

To which jesus replies, "But dad, he's got a six foot, solid gold cross that he can't find the owner of, and he said I could have it."

God leans, forward, looks at jesus and says, "what would you do with a solid gold cross? You couldn't even carry a wooden one!"