Funerals

[Joe the meek]

I was at an interesting funeral today.

I told my in laws today that when I die, I'll have a funeral where the minister will just say these two lines...

"Joe went to hell, and he asks that if you believe in a God to pray for him, not that it may do him any good"

"Eats and entertainment in the next room over, on Joe, LETS GO!"

Too long and private of a story to go into, but I've always found it interesting where EVERY single person who died and is buried in a church is going to heaven.

 

[Kyle B]

that's if they bother giving you a funeral. :tooth

 

[Alien Allen]

They can bypass any kind of rite for me. Just have a party.

I want Elton's Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding blasting away.

 

[Johnfromokc]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_5kv8QeBBc

 

[Joe the meek]

John, you would of appreciated this southern funeral.

Gospel blue grass and all.

Kicker was, no one in the church (preachers who spoke) actually knew the woman.

Actually I told my wife to play some Journey, not AC/DC.

 

[BornReady]

Joe went to hell, and he asks that if you believe in a God to pray for him, not that it may do him any good

Last I heard, prayer won't do any good. But, if you believe in indulgences, some cash might help.

 

[Joe the meek]

Last I heard, prayer won't do any good. But, if you believe in indulgences, some cash might help.

I'm putting my faith on the popular vote.

If all else fails, I'll have my son run an online vote contest (you know, where no one actually knows you but votes anyway because someone asks you) and have people vote for me to get in.

I'm smart enough to tell my son not to use this forum for votes though

 

[Johnfromokc]

John, you would of appreciated this southern funeral.Gospel blue grass and all.Kicker was, no one in the church (preachers who spoke) actually knew the woman.Actually I told my wife to play some Journey, not AC/DC.

I'm not a bluegrass fan, but you can't help but admire how fast some of those guys can play a banjo. But for some reason banjoes make me think of this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tqxzWdKKu8

 

[BleedingBull]

I am so bored of funerals, I only go now for the sandwiches, I never know what to say to anyone, cos I'm normally over it by then and they are still crying.

 

[Joe the meek]

Ultimately in my round about way, I'd be very curious as to how many people, when having a service at a church for their OWN funeral, have the minister tell everyone the person dead is going to hell?

That said, this woman, nor her children wanted a funeral service, but someone stepped up to the plate and demanded one. Made it even more interesting.

One of the better sermons I've heard recently is how NO man can be the judge of other people, and WE have no clue to how God is going to judge them (no, not at a "fire and brimstone" southern baptist church I assure you).

If that is the case, how can the minister say that the person is going to heaven? Isn't the minister judging the person by saying where they're going?

Let's just say although this woman got REAL close to God her last few days on earth, as far as a mother and as a person and the majority of her life, let's just say you could be amazed. Yet this minister who really didn't know this woman gave a great sermon on how this woman was going to heaven. Just wondering how he KNEW where she was going.

You really have to know the family dynamics there, I'm just not use to it LOL

And John, always remember Deliverance was filmed in Georgia and South Carolina. The "kid" who played the banjo in that movie still lives in Georgia. West Virginia always gets a bad rap for that movie LOL

 

[HK]

Funerals are to make the living feel better. No one is going to stand up and say 'well I know you all loved Jane, but she had three husbands and a baby out of wedlock, so she's probably burning in hell right now, amen'.


It's just a way for people to feel like they've said goodbye. The last three funerals I went to were for my dad's mum, dad and aunt, and he read something he'd prepared at each one, which made me more sad than the actual funeral.

 

[BornReady]

Funerals are to make the living feel better.

That and also the basic idea of heaven and hell is heaven is for your friends and hell is for your enemies. So unless someone is being buried by his enemies then it's a good bet everyone will think he's going to heaven.

 

[savvy]

Funerals are more for the living than anything else. It's a chance to somewhat resolve the loss of a loved one.

 

[Dana]

I'm being cremated and put to sea... It's the only way I'll get to travel the world... Of course they better make sure I'm dead before the BBQ me.