Fun lies you've told to kids

[moonshot]

...or have been told when you were a kid.

My nephew, when he was four, loved to be naked. Every night after bath time was naked time. He'd run around the house for about 10 minutes. It was a hassle getting him to get dressed at the end of naked time so I invented the Naked Police.

One day I actually had to call the Naked Police on the phone. I'm not sure if he believed me but when I snuck outside through the back door and pounded on the front door yelling "Naked Police, open the door" he got dressed pretty quick. :tongue:


When I was little, my dad told me that the lumps in tapioca pudding were the eggs of Tapioca Bugs. I haven't touched tapioca since.

 

[dt3]

Well, it wasn't kids...but I think Iraqi Army Soldiers qualify... When I was on guard duty, a bunch of them must've gotten a shipment of 80's shit in. They kept saying "Michael Jackson" and "Rocky" and they wouldn't stop singing "We Will Rock You"....So I taught them to sing the newest Billboard American hit single............

"I'm A Douchebag And I Love Cock (Yeah Yeah)"

They sang it everytime they saw me for a week, then I think one of the damn interpreters tipped them off...

 

[Boomer]

My dad used to tell me there were scorpions in the drains of urinals. I think about that every time I use one.

 

[drb]

my parents told me i had red hair 'cause they left me in the rain and i rusted.

 

[dt3]

My dad told me that pregnant women had swallowed a watermelon seed, and that's what was growing in their stomach...

 

[Tegan]

My parents told me if you whack it too much, hair will grow on your palm.

 

[andcuriouser]

I told my godson that you have left and right socks as well as left and right shoes. I kept him going for about a week before Matt felt it was mean and set him straight. The poor kid would try so hard to tell the difference, but no matter what I'd always say, "No, Ebu! You've got them all wrong. Can't you tell the difference? You've got your socks on the wrong feet!"

Haha, it was absolutely hilarious. I am definitely doing that to his sister once she is old enough.

 

[TheOriginalJames]

My sister in law told my nephew (her son) that his hair stands up because when he was a baby she was pushing him in a stroller and a cow came up and licked him.

 

[GraceAbounds]

I told my oldest that we were really aliens and that our skin was not really our skin and that at night we peeled it off. And that he was adopted and that when he got older we'd take our skin off and show him and we'd take him on a trip back to our mother planet.

I laugh just thinking about. You may have had to have been here to see the look on his face to find this funny, I don't know. But we really had him going for a day or two. He would periodically ask us questions that we'd answer and they would make logical sense to a 10 year old. He'd go away and come back with another question after awhile. It was all too funny. My husband and I would just die laughing.

 

[Trance97]

I don't lie to kids. I give them legit, valuable, and inspiring advice.

 

[Kat]

I kinda told my nephew that making oinking (pig) nosies scared off the monsters under his bed (he was only 3 almost 4)...he thought that was the funniest sound so it distracted him enough to make him forget about any kind of monsters

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

oh man..i used to be brutal to my little sisters...whenever the lights would go out at night I pretended to be a different person...I'd scare the shit out of them and talk in a scary voice...and then as soon as they hit the lights back on I'd be normal, and they'd tell me to quit and I acted like I had no idea what they were talking about, I think they really started to believe they werer the crazy ones lol.