Homer said:Happy Farthers Day.
HOTRODSnBOOZE said:Happy Fathers day Homer!!!!!
I'm a happy Dad too, so you and I ROCK Homie!![]()
*crowd yells SPEECH* .....Oh no, I don't have anything prepared....I'm not going to give a speech, sorry *blush*![]()
...Well it was 23 years ago last May that me and my then, "hot looking" wife decided to have a baby. I never really thought much about it until one day Jackie said, Chris, I feel kinda funneh and I have a feeling I'm not just getting fat from your AWESOME cooking. Then all of a sudden I heard a splash, so I looked over at Jackie and she had a very peculiar look on her face and she was standing in a puddle of H20. So I said, please tell me you were smuggling a water banooon between your legs and it popped. She looked down, then back up at me and shook her head no with a now worried look. Well, I'm a calm person, so I handled the new situation that stood before me with maturity and and restraint.
So anyway, I started screaming and ran towards the door and started PUSHING on it to get out but the door wouldn't open, so I start screaming, "THE FUGGER WON"T OPEN!!!" then my panicking out of control wife slowly walks over and calmly turned the door knob and PULLED the door open. I ran out of the now open door and ran to my car in the driveway while riffling through my pockets for my keys and to save time, I bashed the drivers side window in with my fist and dove in and started honking the horn and yelling to Jackie, "DON'T WORRY HONEY, I HAVE EVERYTHING UNDER PERFECT CONTROL" .
By this time Jackie was in complete hysteria, so it's a good thing I was so calm. So anyway she comes walking out to the car with her suitcase in one hand and my pants in the other with a very frightened and concerned look on her face like this >>so being the voice of reason at this point I calmly and quietly said, F**K IN IN THE GETTING CAR! :tard ....then I put the car in in reverse, turned back and looked over my shoulder and proceeded through my garage door.![]()
So anyway, as Jackie is driving me to the hospital, I blacked out a few times and when we get there, a nurse brings out a wheel chair, so I get in it and calmly say, HURRY, MY WIFE HAS A LEAK IN HER GIRL THINGY!!, SAVE HER!!!!!!!!!!! ........*fade to black*
Well, long story short, about eleventy thousand hours later, my wife is seconds away from having our first baby, so it was about that time I said to Jackie, "Hey hun, let's have a baby". [sm=smiley5.gif]
Well, from that day until this very second seems like a blur, but I will say, I distinctively remember most of it has been great.
HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD'S![]()
so being the voice of reason at this point I calmly and quietly said, F**K IN IN THE GETTING CAR!
2000Si said:well see the thing is, my family gets along really really well. I love going over for jokes and food on the weekends when they have us over.
But when I hit the fridge I think I broke my pinky, and seeing as how I no longer had a job or insurance I let it heal on it's own. My dad knew I had hit it hard, but never really took the time to concern himself with it. Granted I never told him it hurt to him, but I know I told my mom and my mom tells him everything as well.
I dunno... there's some things my dad has done to me that I can't forgive him for. We have probably one thing in common; we have no idea how to talk to each other.
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