PerfectBlue
Member
What would you think??
Your spouse of 20 years has had an anger problem most of your relationship but nothing “over the top” just losing his temper from time to time unnecessarily. In the last few years some of things that were said didn’t make sense, way out of character and he would say he didn’t remember doing it. One year ago – in a heated discussion – things got out of control, her parents came to the house and got involved. Words were exchanged that were horrible between her father and the spouse. The spouse was asked to leave for a couple of days until things settled a bit. He ended up not remembering anything that was said or that happened for almost the entire day. He chose to go to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed as Bi-polar with depression. Seemed when he would cycle he would sometimes black out and that is when these angry episodes were occur so he genuinely didn’t have any recollection of what he had done/said. The parents will now have nothing to do with this person at all after that day and have told the daughter that as long as she is with him, they will have nothing to do with them as a couple. Their 17 year old son moved out to her parents house and has not spoken a word to his father since and barely speaks to his mother. He is not allowed at their house and they expect the daughter to come visit without him and to come for holidays without him, etc. The parents will not encourage the son to have a relationship with his father at all and they refuse to go to any counseling or talk to this couple at all about the situation. Despite the husbands apologizes and offering of information and education on what he is dealing with. This poor woman is in the middle of all these family members and mess and has chosen to support her husband. He is good to her and treats her well. She also understands this is a legitimate mental illness and with treatment he is fine. Tell me is she wrong for sticking with her husband? How would you handle having your family push you aside because you aren’t doing what they think you should do? They do not believe in Bi polar – her father told her it was just his excuse to act the way he did.
I tried to summarize this in a few paragraphs so I hope you can make some sense of it. I'm very interested to get some other's opinions on this situation because it just seems so unfair to me they way the couple is being treated and also for their son to have just basically turned his back on them like that. Anyway feel free to ask questions if you need more info and I will try to answer the best I can.
Your spouse of 20 years has had an anger problem most of your relationship but nothing “over the top” just losing his temper from time to time unnecessarily. In the last few years some of things that were said didn’t make sense, way out of character and he would say he didn’t remember doing it. One year ago – in a heated discussion – things got out of control, her parents came to the house and got involved. Words were exchanged that were horrible between her father and the spouse. The spouse was asked to leave for a couple of days until things settled a bit. He ended up not remembering anything that was said or that happened for almost the entire day. He chose to go to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed as Bi-polar with depression. Seemed when he would cycle he would sometimes black out and that is when these angry episodes were occur so he genuinely didn’t have any recollection of what he had done/said. The parents will now have nothing to do with this person at all after that day and have told the daughter that as long as she is with him, they will have nothing to do with them as a couple. Their 17 year old son moved out to her parents house and has not spoken a word to his father since and barely speaks to his mother. He is not allowed at their house and they expect the daughter to come visit without him and to come for holidays without him, etc. The parents will not encourage the son to have a relationship with his father at all and they refuse to go to any counseling or talk to this couple at all about the situation. Despite the husbands apologizes and offering of information and education on what he is dealing with. This poor woman is in the middle of all these family members and mess and has chosen to support her husband. He is good to her and treats her well. She also understands this is a legitimate mental illness and with treatment he is fine. Tell me is she wrong for sticking with her husband? How would you handle having your family push you aside because you aren’t doing what they think you should do? They do not believe in Bi polar – her father told her it was just his excuse to act the way he did.
I tried to summarize this in a few paragraphs so I hope you can make some sense of it. I'm very interested to get some other's opinions on this situation because it just seems so unfair to me they way the couple is being treated and also for their son to have just basically turned his back on them like that. Anyway feel free to ask questions if you need more info and I will try to answer the best I can.
