Down in the dumps

[Veronica]

Today has been a really shitty day for me.. I dont know why but i feel soooo alone and just miserable. When is the hurt and the pain gonna go away? Anyhow, I just had to share with someone how bad I am feeling. I never thought that I would be MORE lonely coming closer to my friends and my family.. But it has happened. I miss heather and dianne so much and I wish I could see them, but I work too damn much and its what I have to do to make ends meet. Austin just faked being sick so he could spend some time with me, can you believe that? I hate it. I miss having fun with my boys, I miss the happiness I use to have. No, I may not of always liked the shit Joe did to me, but I still loved him and he made me happy sometimes.

Anyhow.. How can i move on without getting over this first? But how can I get over this without moving on?

 

[memento_mori]

wish i knew, i haven't gone through half the shit it sounds like you have. don't let one bad day get you down. get rid of your anxiety and keep moving. figure out what can make you happy with yourself, and then your family and friends can reinforce that.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

awwww veronica. You just gotta hold your head up and keep on going. You have accomplished so much in the past few months, you have showed yourself and your family that you are able to take care of them and that you ARE in fact superwoman. It will always get hard at times, but just look around you at the good things you have, look at the bright side, and stop comparing how things are now to how they used to be. You can do this girl, I promise you...God will make things work for you...and your hard work will pay off tremendously one day. We all love you so much and admire your capacity to handle anything that is thrown at you.

 

[UncleBacon]

V you know you always have us and we will all do our part to try and help

 

[AUDRAA]

Aww sweetie I had one of those days yesterday and spent most of the day crying. I know how you are feeling, but lean on friends and they will make you feel better, tomorrow is a new day it will be better. You are one of my strengths in getting through my mess and have helped me by showing me that so much is possible, you are so strong and I know you can do it hun. Keep pushing ahead I know that for you there is a better happier future, there has to be because you are such a great person inside and out that is the only thing that can be, if you need me Im here.

 

[TheOriginalJames]

This is going to sound kind of crude, but life is what you make of it. Sure, you got stuck in a position that you didn't want to be in right now, but as Amy's avatar says; when life gives you lemons stuff them in your bra.

err.. well that has half the actual point I'm trying to make. When life gives you lemons, make yourself some ice cold lemonade. Make the best of your situation, in other words...


You shouldn't need a man to feel happy. As Bacon said we're all hear to listen and try to help you out the best we can.

 

[Veronica]

I dont need a man to be happy.. But having to sit by while your heart is mending and trying to be ok and happy with it sucks.
I know it will take a long time to get over all this shit, but it really sucks and unless you are put in this position you have no idea. Me and joe were together for 8 years!! Ive NEVER lived alone. Im not lonely because I dont have a man, its because I dont have friends and family (heather and dianne) around me here like they were there. Its hard as shit.

Im not strong... Ive tried to be, but having the day that I have had today just proves it.

I dont know if this even makes sense.

I just got out of a LONG hot bath- w/ my Zune cranked up in my ears to drown all other thoughts out. *(still up)

Im sorry, I just needed to vent. I apoligize.

 

[GuesSAngel]

don't worry V. Give it some time...it seems bad now, but things will get better with time and you'll find yourself back to normal and happy again.

 

[TheOriginalJames]

I dont need a man to be happy.. But having to sit by while your heart is mending and trying to be ok and happy with it sucks.
I know it will take a long time to get over all this shit, but it really sucks and unless you are put in this position you have no idea. Me and joe were together for 8 years!! Ive NEVER lived alone. Im not lonely because I dont have a man, its because I dont have friends and family (heather and dianne) around me here like they were there. Its hard as shit.

Im not strong... Ive tried to be, but having the day that I have had today just proves it.

I dont know if this even makes sense.

I just got out of a LONG hot bath- w/ my Zune cranked up in my ears to drown all other thoughts out. *(still up)

Im sorry, I just needed to vent. I apoligize.

Well lets see.

You're a full time dispatcher. check.
You're a full time mom. check.
Your children have food in their stomachs and clothes on their backs. check.

You and your children have a nice warm place with a bed and a roof over their head. check.

You're not giving yourself credit on your strength. The apartment you're in - YOU put that together. The school your kids are getting an education from - YOU put that together.

By yourself. If that doesn't make a strong woman, I don't know what does.

No need to apologize, vent to your hearts content. Let it all out, you'll end up feeling better.

 

[UncleBacon]

Well lets see.

You're a full time dispatcher. check.
You're a full time mom. check.
Your children have food in their stomachs and clothes on their backs. check.

You and your children have a nice warm place with a bed and a roof over their head. check.

You're not giving yourself credit on your strength. The apartment you're in - YOU put that together. The school your kids are getting an education from - YOU put that together.

By yourself. If that doesn't make a strong woman, I don't know what does.

No need to apologize, vent to your hearts content. Let it all out, you'll end up feeling better.

for once :withstupid: ....he's right....we know its not easy but damn V you're doing a damn good job

 

[Veronica]

I just feel tired and overwelmed with things.
Austin is taking alot out of my latey...
work is stressful...
Cant trust people at work because they all gossip and talk shit behind your back..
It just sucks.

 

[UncleBacon]

V you know I'm just 10 numbers away

 

[NicAuf]

Man V that sucks, however by the looks of it there are alot of people on OTz that are here for you. Just keep in there, and be strong. You'll pull through all of this, and you'll be fine.

 

[Peter Parka]

Veronica, you made me cry for the first time since my dog died. I wish I could be near you and help but I cant. If you ever want someone to cry to I'm here on the internet, you'll be able to find me somewhere, love you and best wishes!

 

[Charmer]

I was going to say the same as Peter did in the first half of his first sentence, but....

Veronica, you feel like you're not strong perhaps because your emotions and your readjustment to a "new life" are still being rejuvenated. You ARE strong, for all the reasons James listed and because you know what you had and have to do for you and your boys.
If you weren't strong, you would not have resettled in your new place or provided a new, loving, safe and secure place and environment for your two sons. You might be shutting everyone out, including the people on this forum and perhaps drinking too much to forget the stress and emotional drainage that you feel.

But you didn't. Look at some of your posts since your life changed. Like when you wrote recently about a possible modeling job, can you honestly tell us that you weren't feeling appreciated and beautiful inside yourself? I think you were, because you shared with us your good news.

And, also, the excitement, (and probably the relief), when you were offered your job, that you conveyed to us, tells us that, again, you knew that you still had "it" and that people still appreciated you and your hard work.

Eventhough you say Austin is taking alot out of you lately, to me it seems like he is already adjusting to your and his, (and his brother's), new life and new place and wants to act like a normal kid would to his Mother by driving her crazy.

So take more soothing, relaxing baths as you mentioned, listen to music that helps you release your pent-up emotion, take a minute to look around at work and see, and hear, how much you are loved and needed. But, most of all, look at your sons and realize what a blessing you are to them and they are to you and know, that, no matter how much they drive you crazy, inside, I'll bet, they are your biggest fans and are very, very proud of you.

We all are, V!

 

[drb]

I dont need a man to be happy.. But having to sit by while your heart is mending and trying to be ok and happy with it sucks.
I know it will take a long time to get over all this shit, but it really sucks and unless you are put in this position you have no idea. Me and joe were together for 8 years!! Ive NEVER lived alone. Im not lonely because I dont have a man, its because I dont have friends and family (heather and dianne) around me here like they were there. Its hard as shit.

Im not strong... Ive tried to be, but having the day that I have had today just proves it.

I dont know if this even makes sense.

I just got out of a LONG hot bath- w/ my Zune cranked up in my ears to drown all other thoughts out. *(still up)

Im sorry, I just needed to vent. I apoligize.

i disagree with you there, kiddo. having a bad day makes you human, the fact that you're here and writing about it shows how strong you really are. we all need a support system and i don't think think it shows weakness to lean when you need it. as for trying to get on with it without getting over it to me that's like putting a band aid over a bullet wound. it might slow the bleedind but it won't heal the injury. i married my high-school sweetheart and we divorced after 6 years. it left me destoryed but with the pieces i built a better me. THAW- time heals all wounds. that saying has got me though a lot.

 

[Veronica]

Thanks everyone. I am greatful to have you guys and gals around me.

 

[UncleBacon]

V we are greatful to have you in our lives

 

[TheOriginalJames]

On my way back from Dallas, I could swing by WR for a day or so and let you kick my ass to get any of the rage out Plus you won't be lonely while I'm there bleeding on the ground.



:tongue:

We love ya Vs.

 

[Veronica]

wr isnt on the way from dallas...