My mom wrote this for her final paper for one of her college classes. It is pretty good I think. She talks about my Uncle Jerry and my good friend Rick. Jerry has been handicapped his whole life, and Rick became paralyzed from his neck down in a motorcycle accident in '99. I think its worth a read. Keep in mind it is just a rough draft.
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[FONT="] One of my earliest memories is that of complete and all consuming anger. The neighborhood kids are gathered in our yard to play softball. The bases are setup, the bats are out, and the two teams are almost divided. We all realize there are an uneven number of us and my brother (who is the only one left) is starting to walk toward the team that is short of players. His braces give him an uneven gait and it is taking him awhile to join the group. “I don’t want him – you take him!” a voice calls out. With a look of sadness, Jerry veers left to go to the other side. The next thing I know everyone is discussing who will be “stuck with him”. This scene still makes me tear up 45 years later because I realize that this was the beginning of a lifelong battle for my brother. At this point I understood something he probably already knew – he was not one of “us”.[/FONT]
[FONT="] Jerry was born with cerebral palsy in 1954. He endured physical challenges, to be sure, but as an adult I realize that the emotional struggles would take as heavy a toll as his disability. In 2007, he is what conventional society envisions most people with disabilities to be: poor, uneducated, unemployed and handicapped; but he is handicapped more, I believe, by his lack of self-worth than his physical disability.[/FONT]
[FONT="] In this paper I will argue that the words and actions of those of us in mainstream society can, and do, socially construct a culture and assist in defining the identities of people with disabilities. The community of disabled people is fragmented and is judged against the “normal” able-bodied standards. This makes them a culture of their own. If we look at this group of persons as a culture, we can then understand why we must communicate with them in a different manner. We must learn to treat the person as primary and their disability as secondary. As a society we must be careful not to place limitations on anyone because of a label.[/FONT]
[FONT="] “Children born with disabilities enter the world with minority status”, (Braithwaite, Emry, Wiseman, 1984). Usually they are the only members of their family that are afflicted, and are raised in an environment based on norms. There is generally a great deal of attention paid to their physical needs, but very little toward their social and emotional needs. There are few adults in their world in which to model themselves. Their identities are based on mixed messages that question their worth. A child with restricted capabilities often hear that they are victims, handicapped, suffering, etc., and are often rejected because they are perceived to be damaged. At a very early age they learn that people young and old are uncomfortable around them and therefore learn strategies to reduce the discomfort of the able-bodied person. At the same time they have not necessarily learned coping strategies for their own emotional well-being and will often choose to avoid communication altogether rather than be disrespected or degraded. If one is isolated and segregated are they able to develop socially?[/FONT]
[FONT="] Childhood is a time when a person’s identity is developed. We must treat children that are not able-bodied as humans first. But how do we teach all children this philosophy so that when they interact with disabled children they are not sending negative messages? We must raise our children to see the similarities and not the differences.[/FONT]
[FONT="] “Our sense of self is decidedly a process and product of our experience of life and the cultural systems we inhabit” (Bordo, 1989; Schilling, 1993). When the body is different than the able-bodied person it becomes a point in which humans define themselves or others define them. People with disabilities are viewed as weak, which implies they will never be strong. Their visible flaws become wounds for the rest of us to see.[/FONT]
[FONT="] My personal experience of watching and interacting with my brother has led me to develop a friendship with Rick, an amazing man that happens to have a spinal cord injury. In November, 1999, Rick was on his motorcycle and struck by a vehicle which resulted in his injury. Prior to the accident he was a professional, well-adjusted man. Today is still a professional, well-adjusted man, although with insights into a world that many in society cannot even begin to fathom.[/FONT]
[FONT="] In my interview with Rick I stated, “It is my opinion that we live in a society that devalues people with disabilities. We need to choose our words and actions carefully when it comes to talking to, or discussing, people that are disabled.” I was somewhat surprised by Rick’s response.[/FONT]
[FONT="] “I don’t agree, at least not entirely. Yes, we do live in a society that devalues people with disabilities, but by promoting a need to have to carefully choose the words used to talk with a disabled person, we are only promoting this division.” He goes on to say that common sense and etiquette should be applied when interacting with a disabled person. Suggestions include:[/FONT]
[FONT="] Why do Rick, and others like him, feel they are invisible? Both able-bodied and disabled people are affected by the discomfort of interaction with each other. Rick says that communication is the key to interaction with the disabled, but that key is communicating to the mainstream on how to communicate with those that are disabled. “People are afraid of what they do not understand, so they simply try to avoid it.” They are invisible.[/FONT]
[FONT="] There are a large number of people that fit into this unseen and unacknowledged community. According to the President’s Committee on Disabilities in 1994 one out of five people we communicate with is likely to be a person with a disability. A disability was defined by the Bureau of Census as having difficulty in performing one or more functional or daily living activities, or one or more socially defined roles or tasks. At that time there were 43 million people that met this description.[/FONT]
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[FONT="]“Like I’m Not Even There”[/FONT]
[FONT="] Jerry was born with cerebral palsy in 1954. He endured physical challenges, to be sure, but as an adult I realize that the emotional struggles would take as heavy a toll as his disability. In 2007, he is what conventional society envisions most people with disabilities to be: poor, uneducated, unemployed and handicapped; but he is handicapped more, I believe, by his lack of self-worth than his physical disability.[/FONT]
[FONT="] In this paper I will argue that the words and actions of those of us in mainstream society can, and do, socially construct a culture and assist in defining the identities of people with disabilities. The community of disabled people is fragmented and is judged against the “normal” able-bodied standards. This makes them a culture of their own. If we look at this group of persons as a culture, we can then understand why we must communicate with them in a different manner. We must learn to treat the person as primary and their disability as secondary. As a society we must be careful not to place limitations on anyone because of a label.[/FONT]
[FONT="] “Children born with disabilities enter the world with minority status”, (Braithwaite, Emry, Wiseman, 1984). Usually they are the only members of their family that are afflicted, and are raised in an environment based on norms. There is generally a great deal of attention paid to their physical needs, but very little toward their social and emotional needs. There are few adults in their world in which to model themselves. Their identities are based on mixed messages that question their worth. A child with restricted capabilities often hear that they are victims, handicapped, suffering, etc., and are often rejected because they are perceived to be damaged. At a very early age they learn that people young and old are uncomfortable around them and therefore learn strategies to reduce the discomfort of the able-bodied person. At the same time they have not necessarily learned coping strategies for their own emotional well-being and will often choose to avoid communication altogether rather than be disrespected or degraded. If one is isolated and segregated are they able to develop socially?[/FONT]
[FONT="] Childhood is a time when a person’s identity is developed. We must treat children that are not able-bodied as humans first. But how do we teach all children this philosophy so that when they interact with disabled children they are not sending negative messages? We must raise our children to see the similarities and not the differences.[/FONT]
[FONT="] “Our sense of self is decidedly a process and product of our experience of life and the cultural systems we inhabit” (Bordo, 1989; Schilling, 1993). When the body is different than the able-bodied person it becomes a point in which humans define themselves or others define them. People with disabilities are viewed as weak, which implies they will never be strong. Their visible flaws become wounds for the rest of us to see.[/FONT]
[FONT="] My personal experience of watching and interacting with my brother has led me to develop a friendship with Rick, an amazing man that happens to have a spinal cord injury. In November, 1999, Rick was on his motorcycle and struck by a vehicle which resulted in his injury. Prior to the accident he was a professional, well-adjusted man. Today is still a professional, well-adjusted man, although with insights into a world that many in society cannot even begin to fathom.[/FONT]
[FONT="] In my interview with Rick I stated, “It is my opinion that we live in a society that devalues people with disabilities. We need to choose our words and actions carefully when it comes to talking to, or discussing, people that are disabled.” I was somewhat surprised by Rick’s response.[/FONT]
[FONT="] “I don’t agree, at least not entirely. Yes, we do live in a society that devalues people with disabilities, but by promoting a need to have to carefully choose the words used to talk with a disabled person, we are only promoting this division.” He goes on to say that common sense and etiquette should be applied when interacting with a disabled person. Suggestions include:[/FONT]
- [FONT="]If a person is hearing-impaired ensure that you have established a visual contact so that they know you are talking to them.[/FONT]
- [FONT="]If a person is visually impaired ensure that you identify yourself initially and denote that you are leaving when finished.[/FONT]
[FONT="] Why do Rick, and others like him, feel they are invisible? Both able-bodied and disabled people are affected by the discomfort of interaction with each other. Rick says that communication is the key to interaction with the disabled, but that key is communicating to the mainstream on how to communicate with those that are disabled. “People are afraid of what they do not understand, so they simply try to avoid it.” They are invisible.[/FONT]
[FONT="] There are a large number of people that fit into this unseen and unacknowledged community. According to the President’s Committee on Disabilities in 1994 one out of five people we communicate with is likely to be a person with a disability. A disability was defined by the Bureau of Census as having difficulty in performing one or more functional or daily living activities, or one or more socially defined roles or tasks. At that time there were 43 million people that met this description.[/FONT]
