Dating Debate!

[Dodge_Sniper]

Before we start, this isn't about me, this is something I've noticed more and more lately...well, a few things.

The first, is it seems like more and more, girls will say yes if a boy asks her to be his girlfriend, yet they find it weird when the boy will kiss her or say "I love you" early on in the relationship. Maybe it's just me, but don't you usually test drive the car before you buy it? I thought that's why people went on dates. I've known a girl that was grossed out when her boyfriend kissed her. They'd only been dating three days, but still, don't you usually kiss at least once before you become a couple? Also, another girl I know was freaked out when the boyfriend said "I love you" after they'd been dating for 3 weeks, because she said it showed he was "too clingy" and it was "too early" to love each other. :confused I guess I was just born in the wrong time period or something.

One other thing I've noticed, is that people send to throw the word "date" around too much. I remember when "going on a date" meant a person would go out to a nice place or plan a nice event with the person he/she loved, and it'd be just them. Now, I see people asking everyone every day, "Hey, wanna go on a date tonight?". It can be anybody, they just seem to ask each other. Even if they are taken.

There are a few other things I may address later, but as for now, that's just about it.

Thoughts?

 

[dt3]

I honestly haven't seen any of what you've described.

 

[Peter Parka]

Well I'm not surprised that most girls would be creeped out if you told them you love them so soon in the relationship!:eek

 

[Dodge_Sniper]

Well I'm not surprised that most girls would be creeped out if you told them you love them so soon in the relationship!:eek

But why? Isn't a relationship supposed to be based on love? Not telling them you love them, whether it's 3 days or 3 weeks into the relationship, is just showing you don't have feelings for them.

 

[GuesSAngel]

boys have cooties

 

[dt3]

boys have cooties

girls have coo-ters.

 

[Peter Parka]

But why? Isn't a relationship supposed to be based on love? Not telling them you love them, whether it's 3 days or 3 weeks into the relationship, is just showing you don't have feelings for them.

I'm sorry but I don't see how anyone can truly love another 3 days into a relationship, especially if we're talking about teenagers here. True love takes a lot longer to develop than that and it really actually takes even longer to realise what true love is. Saying it that early on makes you sound either false, just trying to bed her or just a bit too obsessive!

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

having feelings for someone does not equate to being in love with someone. some people see the difference, others dont. Everyone learns from experience though.

 

[AUDRAA]

boys have cooties

girls have coo-ters.

and this is what makes you boys have cooties always looking for the cooter lol

 

[Dodge_Sniper]

I'm sorry but I don't see how anyone can truly love another 3 days into a relationship, especially if we're talking about teenagers here. True love takes a lot longer to develop than that and it really actually takes even longer to realise what true love is. Saying it that early on makes you sound either false, just trying to bed her or just a bit too obsessive!

Don't bring age into this, because I don't want to argue. I know I've truly loved someone before, so age doesn't matter. Aren't you supposed to love a person BEFORE you become boyfriend and girlfriend? I've never seen a girl and just said, "Hey, let's date", and then loved her later down the road.

 

[NicAuf]

Well aren't dates suppose to be so the two people can get to know each other better. Usually when a relationship begins, the two are not in love, they may have strong feelings toward each other, but not true love. It's through dating, talking to them, getting to know each other, that true love blossoms.

Idk that's my two cents.

 

[elluko]

But why? Isn't a relationship supposed to be based on love? Not telling them you love them, whether it's 3 days or 3 weeks into the relationship, is just showing you don't have feelings for them.

It depends on the person, the word love it tossed around very commonly in some cases. For instance, one girl I know is going steady with one of my friends and she will say "I love you" to me at least 7 times per day, I only say it to her about half the time she says to me tho, lol. It completely depends on the people. Saying that you love someone can sometimes be a completely different thing than being in love.

 

[GraceAbounds]

Well aren't dates suppose to be so the two people can get to know each other better. Usually when a relationship begins, the two are not in love, they may have strong feelings toward each other, but not true love. It's through dating, talking to them, getting to know each other, that true love blossoms.

Idk that's my two cents.

Yes that is how it works between two mature people. I think Dodge-Sniper is talking about teenagers though. So the lost-my-mind-due-to-hormones-lust factor comes into play with the situations he is talking about. Parents really need to discuss this stuff with their kids better.

 

[HisHoliness]

Well aren't dates suppose to be so the two people can get to know each other better. Usually when a relationship begins, the two are not in love, they may have strong feelings toward each other, but not true love. It's through dating, talking to them, getting to know each other, that true love blossoms.

Idk that's my two cents.

I think you've just come across the difference between dating and going out. I had mistakenly been using those words interchangeably until about five years ago. They should teach this crap in school.

Dating is probably my least favorite thing to do. It can be broken down series of calculated and universally fake motions that people do to get close with each other. This is different from going out, where the relationship is already past that initial test drive period. This is where you truly learn about your partner.

My point is, Dodge, by the third encounter, you're still probably in dating mode, which is a point in the relationship where those three magic words are off limits. If you say the words prematurely, they may be received as being insincere. Your partner might think: how well can he know me in just three evenings to make that kind of decision? In all likelihood, your partner will attribute those words to...

...the lost-my-mind-due-to-hormones-lust factor...

... and the relationship may go downhill from there.

Then again, I've found that if you and your partner have been friends for along time, the dating period can be very short or nonexistent.

 

[Silious950]

Don't bring age into this, because I don't want to argue. I know I've truly loved someone before, so age doesn't matter. Aren't you supposed to love a person BEFORE you become boyfriend and girlfriend? I've never seen a girl and just said, "Hey, let's date", and then loved her later down the road.

IMO you should date the girl "Test Drive" too see if she is a good match for you, if it goes good after awhile and you feel comfortable around her ask her to be your girlfriend. from that moment enjoy eachother and most people, with enough time, understand that love takes a long time to attain with a stranger. Once that love is established then you go to the next step, serious relationghip which heads towards marraige. That's my 2 cents. Gigady.:rockon:

 

[Keight]

Dating is over rated lol
I dont date... or try not to as much as possible as its a scam to try and be someone you are not..What ever happened to getting along with people because you share a common interest and things going from there.
The whole I love you thing... ugh Ive heard it more than i have said it and its not something that should be thrown around... real love is loving the parts of a person that piss you off the most, if you can love someone for their flaws the rest is a bonus. and being able to truely see someone you would have to know them for more than 3 days.... just my opinion is all =)