Breaking The Law!

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Peter Parka

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True but stupid laws

CANADA:

1. It is illegal for a teen to walk down main street for Fort Qu'Appelle with their shoes untied.

2. It is illegal to leave your horse in front of the Country Squire (local hotel) without hitching it securely to the hitching post (which was removed yeeeeeaaaars ago).

- UNITED STATES OF AMERICA:

** List of Stupid Laws in the United States **


Silly Laws:

- Alabama:
1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

- Alaska:
1. It is illegal to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

- California:
1. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.

- Connecticut:
1. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
2. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.

- Florida:
1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
2. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
3. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
4. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
5. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
6. Any form of sexual contact other than missionary position is a misdomeanor. (This is still a law. There have been several cases of people being brought up on these charges in the past 5 years alone. If the police enter a home with a warrent for some other crime and catch the 'culprits' in action, they can, and are, brought up on those charges.)

- Illinois:
1. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.

- Indiana:
1. Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
2. Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.

- Iowa:
1. Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.

- Kentucky:
1. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."
2. It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.

- Louisiana:
1. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
2. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."

- Massachusetts:
1. Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
2. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
3. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
4. Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.

- Nebraska:
1. A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.

- New Mexico:
1. Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.

- New York:
1. A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

- North Dakota:
1. Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

- Ohio:
1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.

- Oklahoma:
1. Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
2. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
3. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

- Pennsylvania:
1. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
2. No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.

- Tennessee:
1. It is illegal to lasso a catfish in Tennessee!! (Julie.Miller)

- Texas:
1. A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
2. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

- Vermont:
1. Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week -- on Saturday night.

- Washington:
1. All lollipops are banned.
2. A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.
3. In King County, in Seattle Washington, it is illegal to sit on a man's lap on a metro bus, unless you are married.
4. Vancouver, WA has a city law that requires all motor vehicles to carry anchors... as an emergency brake. (Ted Timmons)

- West Virginia:
1. No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
 
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Peter Parka

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Oh, and if you thought I was going to let my own country off the hook...

These are real British laws!

* Under the reign of Elizabeth I, any person found guilty of "harboring a Catholic priest" would be tortured or even hanged. Any priest of the Catholic faith that was caught would be hanged, drawn, and quartered.
* With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.
* All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.

* London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats. (Repealed 1976)

* The severest Penaltys will be suffered by any commoner who doth permit his animal to have carnal knowledge of a pet of the Royal House (enacted by George I)
* It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).
* It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.

* Any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks (enacted by Edward VI).
* It is illegal to stand within one hundred yards of the reigning monarch when not wearing socks (enacted by Edward VI)
* Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated.

* A bed may not be hung out of a window.
* It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.
* During his reign, Oliver Cromwell banned the eating of mince pies on Christmas day, as they were insufficiently Puritan.


* Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.
* It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.

* Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.

* Those wishing to purchase a television must also buy a license.

* It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.

* Destroying or defacing money is illegal.
* If a steam locomotive is driven on roads, a man must walk in front of the vehicle with a red flag during the day and a red lantern at night to warn passersby.
* All steam locomotives are limited to 4mph on roads.
* Anal sex is prohibited.
* You may not make out in public.
* It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

* Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime.
* Interfering with the mail or sleeping with the consort of the Queen is classed as treason, and as such, carries a maximum penalty of death.
* Placing a postage stamp that bears the Queen (or King) upside down is considered treason.
* One may not "blemish the peace".
* A license is required to keep a lunatic.
* Damaging the grass is illegal.
* Jesuits, Seminary Priests and other suchlike disobedient Persons must be banished.

* Since 1313, MPs are not allowed to don armor in Parliament.




England Laws

Country Laws

* Under the reign of Elizabeth I, any person found guilty of "harboring a Catholic priest" would be tortured or even hanged. Any priest of the Catholic faith that was caught would be hanged, drawn, and quartered.
* With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.
* All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.

* London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats. (Repealed 1976)

* The severest Penaltys will be suffered by any commoner who doth permit his animal to have carnal knowledge of a pet of the Royal House (enacted by George I)
* It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).
* It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.

* Any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks (enacted by Edward VI).
* It is illegal to stand within one hundred yards of the reigning monarch when not wearing socks (enacted by Edward VI)
* Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated.

* A bed may not be hung out of a window.
* It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.
* During his reign, Oliver Cromwell banned the eating of mince pies on Christmas day, as they were insufficiently Puritan.

* Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.
* It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.

* Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.

* Those wishing to purchase a television must also buy a license.

* It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.

* Destroying or defacing money is illegal.
* If a steam locomotive is driven on roads, a man must walk in front of the vehicle with a red flag during the day and a red lantern at night to warn passersby.
* All steam locomotives are limited to 4mph on roads.
* Anal sex is prohibited.
* You may not make out in public.
* It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

* Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime.
* Interfering with the mail or sleeping with the consort of the Queen is classed as treason, and as such, carries a maximum penalty of death.
* Placing a postage stamp that bears the Queen (or King) upside down is considered treason.
* One may not "blemish the peace".
* A license is required to keep a lunatic.
* Damaging the grass is illegal.
* Jesuits, Seminary Priests and other suchlike disobedient Persons must be banished.

* Since 1313, MPs are not allowed to don armor in Parliament.


City Laws

Chester

* You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.

Hereford

* You may not shoot a Welsh person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close.

Liverpool

* It is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.

London

* Companies may vote in local elections.
* No cows may be driven down the roadway between 10 AM and 7 PM unless there is prior approval from the Commissioner of Police.


York

* Excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow.

Isle of Man

* Crossbows are banned


Isle of Sark

* All land must be left to the eldest son.

* Divorces are outlawed.
 
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