Tennis becomes immortal
Experts are warning of the dire consequences for middle-England after Tennis spawned its first ever immortal match at Wimbledon yesterday.
As the first round match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut enters its third day, experts are warning against further attempts to extend the useful life of other sporting events.
Professor of Sports Entertainment, Harold Wimpleton-Smythe explained, “We have a long tradition in this country of extending the life of sporting events beyond the time for which they can realistically hold our interest or keep us entertained, and this is just the latest example.”
“For all intents and purposes, tennis should now be considered immortal. This match could still be going on long after you and I are all long gone.”
“Someone needs to speak out about the risk this poses, and it falls to me to tell the powers that be to stop playing God and just let tennis matches die when they stop being interesting - after an hour or so.”
after eleven hours and five minutes on court over the course of three days, John Isner defeats Nicolas Mahut... 6-4, 3-6, 6-7, 7-6, 70-68.
What a fucking match... we'll never see anything like that ever again.
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