redsMULLT1
Active Member
........
See..... I have no place to go. This is where I used to call home and the pain of my broken head made me whole. Now I lay here with no backbone wishing it would go away. I can't ask questions because I have no voice. Waiting... and I will not wish this to be over. So you strip away all of my shadows. And I don't know why god made me this way. I don't know how much more I can take. All I planned.. all I dreamed... has brought me to my knees. Each new problem drives me further from sane. I work so hard for everything I have and you tear it down or steal it away. I know what you are. My heart hangs heavy. I hold on to today with a death grip and run hard just to get to tomorrow so as not to look so desperate. No one can see who I really am because I hide behind myself so well. You're killing me and you don't even realize it. It would be easy to move on if it didn't hurt so bad. Laying next to you with so much hate and resentment built up inside. Wishing I would wake up and one of us would be gone. Maybe this is how a prostitute feels. It feels like I have many directions to go.. but every way is the wrong way. I am a prisoner of myself..
Now for you.....
We've know each other for many many years... I loved you... you walked away. There has been a cavity in my heart since the day we met. You are perfect in my eyes. There is nothing about you that turns me away. You had a choice and I was not a part of it. Reluctantly I let you go only to be tortured by your friendship. Anything you wished and dreamed for.. I wished and dreamed for you same. The time we had together was unimaginable. There was so much I had to say but was cut short. Everything fell into place. There was no struggle to make even one piece feel right. Nothing was akward. It was all so natural. We shared an amazing time together. I know what I lost and it hurts. I don't know if it would hurt more if it were my fault or not. But none the less it hurts. Every day I wake thinking about you. You are the one I think about while I work. And every night when I fall into bed.. laying next to her.. I think of you. It makes me feel like I am a bad person. But I would give anything up for you. There is not one thing I would not just drop and walk away from if you asked. I hate it when you cry. I hate the way he makes you feel. I hate when you tell me goodbye. I just want to hold on... I would give everything.. my kingdom.. my empire... my health... all for you. You will probably never know my exact feelings though you have an idea of what they are. Even if I told you.. would you hear what I had to say? Even still though... whenever I see you my world gets brighter. I see things more in color than before. Everything becomes warm and meaningful. I have purpose and I belong. And then.. when you walk away.... it all turns back to shit. A meaningless world cold and gray. I could be in a room packed with people.. and without you... I still feel alone.
You are my everything and you don't even know it.
See..... I have no place to go. This is where I used to call home and the pain of my broken head made me whole. Now I lay here with no backbone wishing it would go away. I can't ask questions because I have no voice. Waiting... and I will not wish this to be over. So you strip away all of my shadows. And I don't know why god made me this way. I don't know how much more I can take. All I planned.. all I dreamed... has brought me to my knees. Each new problem drives me further from sane. I work so hard for everything I have and you tear it down or steal it away. I know what you are. My heart hangs heavy. I hold on to today with a death grip and run hard just to get to tomorrow so as not to look so desperate. No one can see who I really am because I hide behind myself so well. You're killing me and you don't even realize it. It would be easy to move on if it didn't hurt so bad. Laying next to you with so much hate and resentment built up inside. Wishing I would wake up and one of us would be gone. Maybe this is how a prostitute feels. It feels like I have many directions to go.. but every way is the wrong way. I am a prisoner of myself..
Now for you.....
We've know each other for many many years... I loved you... you walked away. There has been a cavity in my heart since the day we met. You are perfect in my eyes. There is nothing about you that turns me away. You had a choice and I was not a part of it. Reluctantly I let you go only to be tortured by your friendship. Anything you wished and dreamed for.. I wished and dreamed for you same. The time we had together was unimaginable. There was so much I had to say but was cut short. Everything fell into place. There was no struggle to make even one piece feel right. Nothing was akward. It was all so natural. We shared an amazing time together. I know what I lost and it hurts. I don't know if it would hurt more if it were my fault or not. But none the less it hurts. Every day I wake thinking about you. You are the one I think about while I work. And every night when I fall into bed.. laying next to her.. I think of you. It makes me feel like I am a bad person. But I would give anything up for you. There is not one thing I would not just drop and walk away from if you asked. I hate it when you cry. I hate the way he makes you feel. I hate when you tell me goodbye. I just want to hold on... I would give everything.. my kingdom.. my empire... my health... all for you. You will probably never know my exact feelings though you have an idea of what they are. Even if I told you.. would you hear what I had to say? Even still though... whenever I see you my world gets brighter. I see things more in color than before. Everything becomes warm and meaningful. I have purpose and I belong. And then.. when you walk away.... it all turns back to shit. A meaningless world cold and gray. I could be in a room packed with people.. and without you... I still feel alone.
You are my everything and you don't even know it.
