My dad

[Godsloveapples]

I have been very distant with my dad. I've never ever told him the three words "I love you," instead I've told him " I hate you" and he believes that I do hate him, while in fact, I love him with all of my heart, I just never had the courage to tell him. I know that if I tell him how I feel about him, he would be the happiest father on earth, so this fathers day, I've decided to make him feel that way. The problem is, I haven't summed up enough courage to tell him and I do not know what to say. I also don't know what kind of present to get him. Please help.

 

[NRobles]

as far as a present goes.. knowing how you feel will be enough. i went through a similar situation, although it was not for the length of time as you but for years i told my dad that i wanted nothing to do with, that i didnt love him and that he would never again be part of my life. the only advice i can give, is dont think about it too much. when you see him or speak to him, just speak from the heart. if you analyze it too much, nothing is going to come out the way you really mean it to. speaking from the heart will probably be very emotional and it can be hard to get the right words out but it will be sincere and that is great starting point to having a life with your father. im sorry i couldnt be more help but seriously, just say it . you will feel better and so will he. let your heart speak for you and everything will work out.

 

[Stella]

Something engraved would've been great but it's probably too late now. If not, maybe get a cool paperweight or something and have a little inscription engraved. Like 'Thanks Dad,' or something. You'll get to avoid having to say anything and he'll get something that'll mean a lot to him.

Things Remembered - Home

If you really wanted to do this, I guess you could give him an IOU Sunday and say he'll get his gift later in the week or something.

 

[Dana]

How old are you? Why can't you tell your father you love him? It's funny I can't recall ever tell my father figure I love him in the 18 years he's been in my life. Of course my memory sucks.

 

[teh_fuzz]

Believe me, there is nothing that would be better for him than to hear those words come out of your mouth to him.

My father and I were at odds for a very very long time, It took me nearly 20 years to finally get over the things that put us apart, I didnt talk to him, I couldnt stand the sight of him and even though I was never rude to him, he knew how I felt and how angry ans pissed I was at him.

A few years ago, Staci convinced me to talk to him, to let him know how I felt deep down inside and to let him know that while the issues that went on with him and my mom affected me too, it was all in the past and how I wanted to at least make the best out of being his son. It took a lot from me, but I called him (he lives in Dallas)

To my surprise, the very next week he made the trip (he was in mexico) and dropped what he was doing and came to Houston so we could talk. I can honestly tell you that besides the biorth of my kids and my wedding day that was easily one fo the best weekends of my life, not only did I get to rekindle that bond we had when I was younger but I had this huge feeling of relief, that he understood what I felt, and that through our talks we became as close as ever.

Believe me it will be worth it, a relationship with your father is not one that you should push aside. you should cherish it now rather than lamenting the could have and would haves later.

good luck

 

[Godsloveapples]

Believe me, there is nothing that would be better for him than to hear those words come out of your mouth to him.

My father and I were at odds for a very very long time, It took me nearly 20 years to finally get over the things that put us apart, I didnt talk to him, I couldnt stand the sight of him and even though I was never rude to him, he knew how I felt and how angry ans pissed I was at him.

A few years ago, Staci convinced me to talk to him, to let him know how I felt deep down inside and to let him know that while the issues that went on with him and my mom affected me too, it was all in the past and how I wanted to at least make the best out of being his son. It took a lot from me, but I called him (he lives in Dallas)

To my surprise, the very next week he made the trip (he was in mexico) and dropped what he was doing and came to Houston so we could talk. I can honestly tell you that besides the biorth of my kids and my wedding day that was easily one fo the best weekends of my life, not only did I get to rekindle that bond we had when I was younger but I had this huge feeling of relief, that he understood what I felt, and that through our talks we became as close as ever.

Believe me it will be worth it, a relationship with your father is not one that you should push aside. you should cherish it now rather than lamenting the could have and would haves later.

good luck

Awww. I'm glad you and your father rejoined. I hope I can be courageous like you and actually do it. I'm just having trouble on what to tell him:dunno

 

[Obdurate]

Try not to think about it too much, you'll just stress yourself out more. Just go for it! You don't have to say much, just that you love him. I'm sure that'll start a conversation of worth.

Good luck though!

 

[teh_fuzz]

It took a looonog time and constant talks with my wife for me to finally get the balls to say what I had to say.

You'd be surprised how eager he will be of talking to you about this, and if you do it in person youll have the wonderful joy of seeing that certain smile come across his face.

believe me that feeling is priceless!

 

[COOL_BREEZE2]

I have been very distant with my dad. I've never ever told him the three words "I love you," instead I've told him " I hate you" and he believes that I do hate him, while in fact, I love him with all of my heart, I just never had the courage to tell him. I know that if I tell him how I feel about him, he would be the happiest father on earth, so this fathers day, I've decided to make him feel that way. The problem is, I haven't summed up enough courage to tell him and I do not know what to say. I also don't know what kind of present to get him. Please help.

I find it very difficult to grasp that you love your father with all your heart and have been so distant with him and to tell him instead (according to you) that you hate him.

At the end of the day, you have one biological mother and one biological father. Love them and let them know that you love them while you still have the chance to do so. Time is shorter than a lot of us appreciate. Don't regret tomorrow what you could have done today.

That being said, all the best toward a happy father's day with your dad and if it goes according to what you want to give him, which money can't buy, it may very well be the best father's day gift he can get.

 

[COOL_BREEZE2]

Believe me, there is nothing that would be better for him than to hear those words come out of your mouth to him.

My father and I were at odds for a very very long time, It took me nearly 20 years to finally get over the things that put us apart, I didnt talk to him, I couldnt stand the sight of him and even though I was never rude to him, he knew how I felt and how angry ans pissed I was at him.

A few years ago, Staci convinced me to talk to him, to let him know how I felt deep down inside and to let him know that while the issues that went on with him and my mom affected me too, it was all in the past and how I wanted to at least make the best out of being his son. It took a lot from me, but I called him (he lives in Dallas)

To my surprise, the very next week he made the trip (he was in mexico) and dropped what he was doing and came to Houston so we could talk. I can honestly tell you that besides the biorth of my kids and my wedding day that was easily one fo the best weekends of my life, not only did I get to rekindle that bond we had when I was younger but I had this huge feeling of relief, that he understood what I felt, and that through our talks we became as close as ever.

Believe me it will be worth it, a relationship with your father is not one that you should push aside. you should cherish it now rather than lamenting the could have and would haves later.

good luck

That's what I'm talking bout.

 

[GuesSAngel]

I have been very distant with my dad. I've never ever told him the three words "I love you," instead I've told him " I hate you" and he believes that I do hate him, while in fact, I love him with all of my heart, I just never had the courage to tell him. I know that if I tell him how I feel about him, he would be the happiest father on earth, so this fathers day, I've decided to make him feel that way. The problem is, I haven't summed up enough courage to tell him and I do not know what to say. I also don't know what kind of present to get him. Please help.

WOW. I felt like I was almost reading my life story for a second. The first time that I could recall my father saying 'I love you' to me was when I was 18. It was something that at the time my therapist said that we needed to work on. B/c I needed that kind of love in my life. I would say for the first 2-3 years saying to my dad 'i love you' felt really weird. And it was stupid, b/c saying it to my mom it really rolled off my tongue (of course she told me she loved me everyday).

I would write your dad a nice letter telling him how much you care about him and that you do love him. And then whenever you feel like saying 'i love you' just do it. I know that it will feel awkward for awhile...but say it now when you have the chance. Because you don't know what will happen tomorrow, and there may not be a second chance.

Get it started

 

[Peter Parka]

Go for it and tell him, life's too short.
I went to a friends funeral on Friday. He's daughter was really upset because she had always been distant from him and now regrets it but it's too late. Don't let yourself get into that kind of position!

 

[SYN]

haha its just 3 words... "i love you"

Its just what you feel in your heart, and if you cant express that, something that you feel a lot about... then you will regret never saying it...

 

[Ria]

I have been very distant with my dad. I've never ever told him the three words "I love you," instead I've told him " I hate you" and he believes that I do hate him, while in fact, I love him with all of my heart, I just never had the courage to tell him. I know that if I tell him how I feel about him, he would be the happiest father on earth, so this fathers day, I've decided to make him feel that way. The problem is, I haven't summed up enough courage to tell him and I do not know what to say. I also don't know what kind of present to get him. Please help.

Awww, good luck.

Try doing it via a text message, then it may make it easier to tell him in person once you have done that.

I have never known who my father is, but at my age it doesn't matter so much now, but it would have been nice to know, to have a dad and tell him I love him. At least I would like to hope that I would have loved him anyway.

If he is alive still, then I hold him in my thoughts anyway for Father's day.

 

[Breath]

Life is too short. If you love someone or care for them, make sure that they know it. Once they are gone from your life, do you want them to never have known what you really felt? I have never regretted telling someone what I felt. You won't either. It is hard though, because I am sure you want to be loved back.

 

[Stella]

Fun Fact:

This might come as a shock to you, but I have indeed regretted telling others how I truly felt att.

 

[skyblue]

some good advice here young lady.......worth considering

 

[Keight]

When i was younger i had the same problem we we never said the whole i love you thing, the older i got the more i realized he needed to hear it. Tell him, that alone would be present enough

 

[Natasha]

I am not close w/ my father at all (there is a long list of reasons) and I don't see him very often. I rarely say "I love you" to him unless he says it first.

My advice would be to forget about the present and just buy him a nice card...then fill the card w/ whatever you want to say. Tell him everything you told us...that you love him w/ all your heart but have trouble saying it, that you're sorry for telling him you hate him b/c you honestly don't, etc. He will cherish that way more than anything else you could give him.

 

[Godsloveapples]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. On Fathers Day (If we don't get in an argument) I'll go out with him and tell him how I feel. I hope it works out. I just have a tiny problem. How can I make him believe me? I told him once, I don't hate you, but all he said was "ha!" so I left it there. What if I tell him i love u and he doesn't believe me?