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RedRyder

RedRyder

Gimme Some Heat!
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Most of you know how I feel about......



....... SPIDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :willy_nilly:

Well..... I'm just sitting here minding my own business talking to you OTz people.... and I realized that it's now dark outside. So.... I decide I'll get up and go close the drapes.

As I turn to get up.... my feet are on the legs of my office chair.... there it is!!!!!!!!!! :eek

A huge black spider heading my way.... running across the carpet.... towards me!!!!! WTH? I jump from my chair and hold it between myself and 'it'! It's still running at me!!!! Brave bastardo!

Hubby is outside and even if I were to scream... he wouldn't hear me nor get here in time to destroy this monster!!!

So.... I take my chair.... with wheels.... and strategically try to run 'it' over. Takes a few tries.... but I run him over and I swear.... at one point... 'it' grabbed the wheel and tried to toss the chair at me!

I have a very vivid imagination when my life is being threatened by such a dastardly devil such as 'it'. :cool

Anywho..... As he is succumbing to the running over by said wheels of my office chair..... I grab the nearest thing I can find..... which in this case is a bottle of gel fire starter. I take the bottle and smash 'it' several times..... spreading 'it' quite flat.

I sense the danger is now over..... and looking at the now deceased horror... as 'it' was..... I decide to scoop his remains onto a piece of paper to show my hubby just how brave his dear one was in this moment of imminent danger. :)

And get this.... His first words were..... "That? Big?"

At first I took it as..... "That big!!!"

However.... looking at his expression as he disengaged himself from all conversation I had left in me..... I knew exactly what he meant. He is now on my shit list. Bastardo! :mad

The body of 'it' still lies on the paper on the kitchen counter. Hubby refuses to toss it for me. *sigh*

Hey! I'm traumatized...... Show a little sympathy. For me! Not the damn spider...... ;)
 
You are braver than me..:nod:

Last night.. there was one crawling toward me on the carpet.. there happened to be a book near by and I threw it halfway across the room.. the books land flat on top of the spider and everyone started to laugh at me..... If I see one I usually run screaming from the room!
 
You know I'm having issues getting things uploaded, remember? :(

If I take a picture and forget it's on there when I venture downtown to get some developed... I can just see some busy body looking over my shoulder at the kiosk seeing this squashed black mass of 'it' and hearing comments that I have no intention of answering. :D
 
jassilem said:
You are braver than me..:nod:

Last night.. there was one crawling toward me on the carpet.. there happened to be a book near by and I threw it halfway across the room.. the books land flat on top of the spider and everyone started to laugh at me..... If I see one I usually run screaming from the room!
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This monstrosity was headed for my computer desk. If 'it' had of made it into the depths of darkness at the base where my bare feet usually nestle.... I would never have been able to sit there again until I debugged the area completely.

PoopaSwoof said:
Red dear,
You are a grown woman.
Get over your senseless fear of spiders.

Sincerely Poopa.
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Poopa honey,
You are a grown man.
You know a grown woman still needs a grown man...
To help her eliminate spiders as needed. :)

Don't be daft man! ;)

satinbutterfly said:
Poor Red. :(

Creepy lil bastards! :willy_nilly:
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I knew you'd understand. *hugs*
 
zirconaz said:
:willy_nilly::willy_nilly::willy_nilly: Red!!! You poor thing! Are you OK????? :willy_nilly::willy_nilly::willy_nilly:
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Gawd! I know! Really.... I'm doing okay now. My heart rate has returned to normal. Breathing has returned. Beads of sweat are dried up. Look of terror on face... Well.... I couldn't see it.... but I just know it was there! Gone. Smiling now. :) <<<<< See?

I'm glad you were all here to help me get through this horrible ordeal. :nod:
 
cam elle toe said:
Ya wuss...*points and laughs*

But I still love ya!:nod:
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Bwahahahahahahaha..... I love ya too, Camykins!

I can laugh now.... but man.... it was close there for awhile. :willy_nilly:

MoonOwl said:
I think you should NegRep his ass w/a big Red F.U.!!!!! :nod::cool:24:
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Bwahahahahaha! Excellent suggestion. Oh wait.... I don't neg rep..... I know.... I'll take a little walk over to his profile page..... :cool

PoopaSwoof said:
:homo:ette.
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You wait! Profile page, mister. NOW! :cool
 
PoopaSwoof said:
Done.

But you still need spider therapy.:nod::D
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You rock! *hugs*

I had spider therapy once.... long time ago.... Sit back and read along. Go ahead... get a snack and a drink....


It started out as a wonderful canoe trip adventure. There was my hubby..... and my brother and his wife. We started out early and were following the waters that my brother had traveled before. Soon enough we came to a double culvert under a 4 lane highway. The water was rushing towards us... meaning we would have to paddle like crazy to get through to the small inland lake on the other side.

There were two culverts.... or tunnels if I may. One was about four foot above the water and the other about six foot above the water. Hubby decided that we would definitely take the larger tunnel.... knowing me as well as he did.... and come to find out... knowing full well that certain creatures thrived in said tunnels.

He really should have told me. I wouldn't have minded one little bit if I had to climb a steep embankment up about 25 feet and then cross over a 4 lane highway then back down the other side. No. Not one little bit.

...... but nooooooooo..... He figured we'd get through in no time and I'd never know the difference.

Well.... Let me tell you.... Hell came into my life that very day.

I watched as my brother and his wife made a smooth entrance into the shorter tunnel and disappeared from view. I could hear their muffled voices and all seemed well.

Now it was our turn. I was in the front of the canoe. First into this tunnel of horror. The larger one remember.....

I ducked and hubby gave directions..... Stuff like.... Keep the canoe away from the sides of the tunnel.... Duck down some....

Then my eyes adjusted to the dark! Holy Mother of!!!!!!!! :willy_nilly: :eek

Wall to wall chamber of spiders! Hanging from the tunnel..... all over the sides..... in the water!!!! I started to scream. Faintly I heard hubby still giving... now yelling... directions.... such as..... Stop rocking the canoe! If it tips you'll fall in and.....

Oh.... I knew exactly what he meant! I paddled for dear life through that damn tunnel of spiders and who knows what else!

Now remember... the water was rushing towards us.... It took some time to get through.... and I was screaming the whole time!!!!

Finally we hit the other side and into freedom. But in my mind I imagined being covered with spiders. I had hair to my butt and I was screaming! I could feel the spiders in that long thick hair of mine.

Hubby managed to get the canoe to shore. I jumped out and was screaming and yelling for him to get the spiders off of me.

He swatted a few here and there and in the end there really wasn't more than 2 or 3..... but in my crazy state..... it did not matter. On and on I screamed..... Finally.... He slapped my face and grabbed my shoulders. I looked at him and just started to cry. No more screaming. Just jagged crying.

He held me in his arms until I calmed down. Then get this.... The owner of the property had come a safe distance away and demanded that we get the hell off of his property. Hahahaha! All that screaming and then hubby slaps me..... What must he have been thinking? :D

Anywho..... on the way back.... No tunnel of horror for this gal. No way. No how. I walked up the steep embankment..... crossed the 4 lanes of highway.... down the other side.... where hubby met me with the canoe that he took through on his own.

You should have heard him try to convince me to go through because the water was working in our favor. Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha..... OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!! :mad


So.... That was my spider therapy. Definitely instilled the fear of them nasty bastardos for the rest of my life! Period. :nod:
 
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