WHY, WHY, WHY do you insist on doing this to me.. WHY do you keep doing this to me, I have done everything I could for you.. Your whole life you were all that mattered, you were first in everything I did, You were first in all my thoughts, I did nothing without thinking of you first, without putting you first. you were my life.. Nothing and no one mattered but you being safe and happy.
Still your first, everything I do and go through is for you, I am willing to put myself to hell and back if that is what it takes for you to be happy, And yet you still have to insist that I am evil and that I don’t care, tell yourself that I never cared, Treat me like I hate you… when YOU KNOW.. That I could never hate you, you kow you are my life ad my world, YOU KNOW, I would be nothing without you, If it had not been for you, I would cease to exist.
And yet you treat me as though I am nothing, you have so much hatred for me, you continue to say and do things that you know are not true, just to justify you treating me this way. You have no clue how much pain it causes me, how much hurt I suffer everyday, How many tears I cry, Just to have you back.. hating me or loving me.. You are still my life…. And yet you keep driving that knife deeper into my heart, trying to drain me of everything that I am.
Do you think I don’t already blame myself.. knowing that somehow.. someway.. this is all my fault, That I don’t spend hours everyday wondering what I did or didnt do to cause this on you.. wondering how I didnt see it, wondering if I just didnt want to see it… wondering If I could have changed it. That If I had been a better person, had a better life. been able to give you more, do more for you, Then maybe things would be better.
And you twist that knife with words you know cut me, with your hate for me, and again I sleep crying.. because I love you so much, and sometimes all I want is to not love you this much. to not have to hurt so much.. to not want and need you this much..
I want to go to who I was, to who you made me, but your tearing that down and driving me back.. pushing me farther into this blackness, that I wonder if I will ever be able to see light again.. or if it will be to late
Still your first, everything I do and go through is for you, I am willing to put myself to hell and back if that is what it takes for you to be happy, And yet you still have to insist that I am evil and that I don’t care, tell yourself that I never cared, Treat me like I hate you… when YOU KNOW.. That I could never hate you, you kow you are my life ad my world, YOU KNOW, I would be nothing without you, If it had not been for you, I would cease to exist.
And yet you treat me as though I am nothing, you have so much hatred for me, you continue to say and do things that you know are not true, just to justify you treating me this way. You have no clue how much pain it causes me, how much hurt I suffer everyday, How many tears I cry, Just to have you back.. hating me or loving me.. You are still my life…. And yet you keep driving that knife deeper into my heart, trying to drain me of everything that I am.
Do you think I don’t already blame myself.. knowing that somehow.. someway.. this is all my fault, That I don’t spend hours everyday wondering what I did or didnt do to cause this on you.. wondering how I didnt see it, wondering if I just didnt want to see it… wondering If I could have changed it. That If I had been a better person, had a better life. been able to give you more, do more for you, Then maybe things would be better.
And you twist that knife with words you know cut me, with your hate for me, and again I sleep crying.. because I love you so much, and sometimes all I want is to not love you this much. to not have to hurt so much.. to not want and need you this much..
I want to go to who I was, to who you made me, but your tearing that down and driving me back.. pushing me farther into this blackness, that I wonder if I will ever be able to see light again.. or if it will be to late
