Cheating?

[Veronica]

Is it just me or does anyone else feel that the spouses that cheat on their spouse has corrupt morals? We just had this discussion at work.. and I believe that marriage is sacred. If you want to cheat, then your marriage is NOT strong and you should just divorce the person instead of crushing them by cheating. I work around ALOT of officers that cheat continiously on their wives and their wives think they are in the perfect marriage. It KILLS me!! Everyone has their faults and make mistakes, but its one thing to own up to them, than to continue to do it behind someone's back. Someone that trusts you, etc. Not to mention, I think it makes a person VERY weak minded.

The whole presidental race thing w/ cain.. About the 13 years of infidelity.... UM do we really want a man that is WEAK minded running our country?

Please tell me that I am not alone in this?

 

[Niamh]

I agree a 100%. Definitely when it comes to having actual affairs. I think If I found out my husband was having an affair, the lying and sneaking around and then looking me in the eye afterwards would bother me more then the cheating itself. To me it would tell me my whole life has been one big lie.

 

[Veronica]

EXACTLY!! Not to mention, looking at your kids in the eye and telling them cheating is wrong, etc when they are doing it themselves!

 

[Niamh]

Yeah and the scary thing is, it happens so much as well. I've heard so many stories lately about so many people cheating. I'd be absolutely devastated if I found out my husband had done it. I believe with all my heart that he never has but I suppose alot of other women do too, so can you imagine how life shattering it would be?

 

[Veronica]

i know all too well how it can be.

I work with 90 % men .. And I would say about 85-90% of those guys CHEAT on their wives frequently. It makes me sick to my stomach.

 

[Pumpkin]

i know all too well how it can be.

I work with 90 % men .. And I would say about 85-90% of those guys CHEAT on their wives frequently. It makes me sick to my stomach.

That is horrifying! If I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me it would devastate me because like Niamh I am 100% sure he wouldn't (not at this point in our relationship anyway), it would just be such a shock and everything I believe about our relationship would be a lie!

I can't imagine what it is like to be completely devoted to someone and think they are to you and find out that that is not the case at all. I hope I never do find out what thats like. I'd prefer to have my heart broken by him breaking up with me out of the blue (so he could sleep with someone else) than to be cheated on.

 

[Niamh]

That is horrifying! If I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me it would devastate me because like Niamh I am 100% sure he wouldn't (not at this point in our relationship anyway), it would just be such a shock and everything I believe about our relationship would be a lie!

I can't imagine what it is like to be completely devoted to someone and think they are to you and find out that that is not the case at all. I hope I never do find out what thats like. I'd prefer to have my heart broken by him breaking up with me out of the blue (so he could sleep with someone else) than to be cheated on.

Exactly. Atleast he'd be showing you some respect then.

The heart break and lies is one thing, but there's also disease and things like that I'd be concerned about too.

 

[porterjack]

it is totally unfair on the innocent partner to cheat, better to be honest and divorce however i dont think you can say someone who has been unfaithful is unfit for public office due to a weak mind. There may be many other reasons to no elect someone like Cain but mistakes in someones personal life need to not necessarily mean they cannot hold downa decent public sector job

 

[Veronica]

If he cant be strong enough to withhold from adultry, how will he be strong enough to fight for our country?

 

[porterjack]

If he cant be strong enough to withhold from adultry, how will he be strong enough to fight for our country?

whilst i dont condone cheating there are worse crimes, often the marriage is long dead and the folk dont divoirce for the kids sake, financial reasons etc etc

 

[Veronica]

But - as for the cain situation- He is denying it.. If he is denying it then his wife prob dont know. If your marriage is dead and you are only staying together for kids, etc.. then why wouldnt you TELL your wife about your affair? You should be open about it if you are BOTH under the understanding that your marraige is dead? RIght?

 

[Pumpkin]

To be honest I don't think what someone does in their personal life should have an affect on their professional life. I am only concerned about whether they do a good job or not, the rest is none of my business.

 

[Panacea]

I think some men can be, slightly more often than women, prone to the desire to avoid dealing with negative emotional consequences of actions. The last thing some of them want it to deal with a woman freaking out about the affair. It's much much easier to hide and lie for people like this.

In fewer words, people who cheat and lie are children, not adults.

 

[Veronica]

agreed....

And yes, there personal life, is that.. there personal life.. But when it FLOWS into PROFESSIONAL life.. its bad. For instance.. Where I work, LOTS of officers cheat... MOSTLY w/ dispatchers or people that know them as POLICE! Um how is that not mixing professional and personal?

 

[Panacea]

Frankly, when my bf was throwing around the idea of going into the military or being a cop I was like uuuugh because I know both jobs can be such an environment for cheating. It's like some of them start to think they have all the power in the world and no longer have to be good to people or follow any moral code. They ARE the moral code. Idk...

 

[Veronica]

see how is a cop any different than president? They have the MOST power in the world..

 

[Panacea]

That's probably why politicians are so often in scandals

 

[Veronica]

exactly, which is why they dont have alot of morals. If we elect cain into office, its just gonna get worse for him.. The media will be focused on his infidelities instead of the country where it needs to be focused.

 

[AUFred]

I believe this is actually 2 topics.

I think you are right about cheating on a spouse being an indication of a personality flaw.


However when politics are involved I look at what is reported by the media with a jaded eye. Clinton's affairs were conveniently ignored for a long time. JFK's were completely brushed over as though they did not happen. I think when any candidate has a different political lean than the main media pundits they begin to dig to see what mud they can find. I do not know if Cain is guilty or not but certainly a lot of smoke not to be a fire somewhere.

 

[Tim]

That's probably why politicians are so often in scandals

I would say that it has to do with narcissism. Think about it, police, politicians, etc. are more likely to be narcissistic than other people in other professions. Maybe that's why there is more infidelity associated with those professions.

As far as cheating on your spouse... I could never do it, it's just not in me, I just couldn't do that to my wife. I always wondered if it was a moral issue with those who cheat or is it something else.
You have to wonder how these guys treat their wives. I mean are they in a loving relationship where both partners are treated equally or do these guys who cheat treat their wives as property? Because if you truly love and respect your partner as an equal, then you wouldn't treat them that way.