Cheating?

[Veronica]

agreed.. And yes, sorry for two topics. LOL Mainly this is about cheating. I was just trying to make a point w/ cain and got sidetracked. LOL

Im just irritated by some people I work w/ that thinks its ok to do this.

 

[Panacea]

Hell, I'd accept the idea that narcissism in general is the reason for a good bit of cheating. Surely not every cheater is a narcissist, but certainly there seems to be some grandiose sense of entitlement involved with a lot of them.

Sometimes, though, I think partners put each other in horrible positions. Years of no sex, no attention, no communication + a misguided person who refuses to break the cycle by either talking it out or leaving = desperation and cheating.

 

[Veronica]

no communication = disaster of a marriage.

I agree that alot of people create the situation that they are in.. But I still dont think its ok to cheat. You should speak to your spouse about your problems.. try to work it out and if not, then divorce.

 

[porterjack]

exactly, which is why they dont have alot of morals. If we elect cain into office, its just gonna get worse for him.. The media will be focused on his infidelities instead of the country where it needs to be focused.

good luck finding someone with a clean moral slate to run for any job in DC

 

[Tim]

However when politics are involved I look at what is reported by the media with a jaded eye. Clinton's affairs were conveniently ignored for a long time. JFK's were completely brushed over as though they did not happen. I think when any candidate has a different political lean than the main media pundits they begin to dig to see what mud they can find. I do not know if Cain is guilty or not but certainly a lot of smoke not to be a fire somewhere.

That's not a media bias, that's just a change in our culture.

JFK's affairs were never reported because there was a lot of respect for the office of President at the time and things like that were overlooked by most at the time. You didn't here about Democrats or Republican affairs at the time.
Today we have instant news, you don't have to wait until the 6 o'clock news on ABC, CBS or NBC.
Today we have TMZ, websites, tabloids, etc. If it's juicy, it's out there instantly. Everyone wants to get the scoop.

As far as Clinton goes... he was persecuted in the media. There was nothing pretty about it.

 

[Veronica]

i know thats true.. Just means that the world isnt as good as we thought.

 

[Panacea]

I think the best we can hope for is communication and basic trust in our personal relationships. I don't worry too much about how many people are cheaters or immoral, I just have to worry about trying to find someone willing to communicate and worth giving an ounce of trust. All the rest can't be prevented, and one can only move on and try again if they're betrayed. How I try to see it, at least.

 

[Tim]

i know thats true.. Just means that the world isnt as good as we thought.

But think about that for a moment...

We still look at marriage and fidelity as a norm when it has never been the case. Back in the 50's and 60's having an affair was not taboo. It just wasn't talked about and it was accepted.
You can never point to a time in history where it was the norm for the majority of the population to be faithful to their partner. The only difference today is that divorce is not taboo like it was years ago. If you were living back then and your husband cheated on you, you didn't leave him....

 

[AUFred]

The world has always been corrupt like Tim said. Today the dirty underbelly is what sells so we hear about it more. Unfaithfulness by the man has always happened and been accepted. That does not make it right.

 

[retro]

As far as Cain goes... I suppose that innocent until proven guilty just went out the window in your world.

On cheating... I did it, and I'm not proud of it. Mine was a bit different than going out and sleeping with someone else though, by necessarily better, but different. However, I don't consider myself to have, "corrupt morals" because of it... That's a judgement that isn't fair to put on people without knowing the details of their specific situation. I suppose that comment might be easier to make in regards to people that do it on a regular basis, or multiple times after their spouse found out. It was a mistake that I made due to a bad marriage, and while some good things actually came about because of it, they still might have happened if I had gone about things properly. But, the past is in the past at this point.

I guess I just wanted to provide a counter argument I the blanket judgements that people are throwing out in this thread.

 

[Panacea]

Morals are subjective, hence the problem

 

[Tim]

As far as Cain goes... I suppose that innocent until proven guilty just went out the window in your world.

He is innocent until proven guilty in the eyes of the law, that's why he isn't in prison waiting to prove his innocence.
But innocent until proven guilty means nothing in the court of public opinion. There is MORE than enough evidence out there to show that this guy is a sleaze ball. And intelligent people can make their own informed opinions about this guy based on eye witness accounts and pay-offs. At this point in the game it's he said, she said with a paper trail leading back to actual events. And I think the public is more likely to believe the several women with similar stories who are not connected rather than the sleaze ball who prays on them...

On cheating... I did it, and I'm not proud of it. Mine was a bit different than going out and sleeping with someone else though, by necessarily better, but different. However, I don't consider myself to have, "corrupt morals" because of it... That's a judgement that isn't fair to put on people without knowing the details of their specific situation. I suppose that comment might be easier to make in regards to people that do it on a regular basis, or multiple times after their spouse found out. It was a mistake that I made due to a bad marriage, and while some good things actually came about because of it, they still might have happened if I had gone about things properly. But, the past is in the past at this point.

I guess I just wanted to provide a counter argument I the blanket judgements that people are throwing out in this thread.

Without specifics, topics like this are always generalized statements as you would expect. No one is saying there is NEVER a case that's good. But speaking in general terms, it is more honest/moral to end what you have before you become intimate with someone else.

 

[retro]

Without specifics, topics like this are always generalized statements as you would expect. No one is saying there is NEVER a case that's good. But speaking in general terms, it is more honest/moral to end what you have before you become intimate with someone else.

But that's the point... you can't make blanket statements like, "once a cheater, always a cheater" (though I don't think that was posted) and that people that cheat have poor morals. It's a dangerous slope to make those kinds of comments, simply because one action doesn't define a person.

 

[Francis]

I agree that cheating is should never be an option..

Having it had done to me by my ex it was one of the reason I could never trust her 100%.. When it happened a second time and it was a year after we had our son, I could not help but think about a friend of mine who had a partner cheat on them and had VD brought to the house and possibly seriously affect everyone.

I know when your apart, that reality still exist but when your the sole bread winner, it's quite embarrassing to have to take time off due to STD and it was something I was not willing to take a chance on. If my son was to get an STD I would of immediately taken 100% control of him as we had a 50%.

I would think people would think of these possibilities but I guess if you can't even find the integrity of being honest with your partner, how can you keep focused to worry about your kids..

 

[Panacea]

I think integrity is a good word for it...interesting. Morals versus integrity...

 

[BadBoy]

i know all too well how it can be.

I work with 90 % men .. And I would say about 85-90% of those guys CHEAT on their wives frequently. It makes me sick to my stomach.

This is one reason why I have a distaste for police officers, males especially. Ok, maybe because they are always pulling me over and giving me tickets.

If you can't be trusted with your own wife, why the hell should I trust you with a gun? I don't.

 

[BadBoy]

I've always said the easiest kind of pussy to get is a married woman. Go figure.

 

[retro]

So, someone that cheats on their partner not only lacks morals, but also automatically gets disqualified from having integrity. Damn, it must be nice to live in a world where everything is so black and white. I choose not to judge people based on one action or set of circumstances, but I appear to be in the distinct minority in that position. :shrug:

 

[Tim]

So, someone that cheats on their partner not only lacks morals, but also automatically gets disqualified from having integrity. Damn, it must be nice to live in a world where everything is so black and white. I choose not to judge people based on one action or set of circumstances, but I appear to be in the distinct minority in that position. :shrug:

I'm actually quite surprised that someone that doesn't have good morals and lacks integrity, you sure do seem to get upset easily.



:24:

 

[Panacea]

Do you think you might be feeling defensive? I mean, what about cheating on a partner can be moral or done out of integrity? It certainly doesn't have to mean the person lacks either or both, but in those moments of betraying someone instead of being accountable for the failing/strained relationship (or whatever reason brings it on), they choose not to use them. It seems cheating lacks morals/integrity, even if the cheater is capable of utilizing them in other situations.