another one

[random guy 517]

i thought up another. (yay me...) anyway, here it is.

my love, my love
oh where can you be?
i cannot be whole
'til you return to me

i long for your touch,
so loving and kind
i need a response
to soothe my troubled mind.

i yearn for your voice,
so dreamy and sweet.
i wait for your gaze,
at once, we must meet.

my love, my love
alas, my heart shall not heal
until the wonderful day
that you become real.

cya ppl soon!

 

[random guy 517]

remember...i want criticism. point out flaws...give me some tips...plz make me better!!!

 

[Bagel]

ya know i really like this one.. beautiful in its simplicity

 

[elluko]

Very effective words.

 

[SilentEyz]

remember...i want criticism. point out flaws...give me some tips...plz make me better!!!

Random, you cant make a poet better, its your mind and your heart, thoughts, emotions that flow into your words, and you are talented, and the more you write, the more you experiance, your work will only get stronger. There is nothing to critisize